Posts tagged TransMan

I wake up happy most mornings.

The sun streams in through the window, it catches the dust in the air just right so the sun beams dance with magic. The birds are chirping, I can hear the kids’ feet stomping around on the other side of our bedroom door. I stretch. And yawn. Absentmindedly my hand reaches out for my wife. I roll over and lean into her warm, soft, body. She’s fast asleep, her breathing soft and deep. My body just sinks into hers, I begin to want her and in that very moment I am reminded that I am trans. That my body doesn’t have the pieces my mind believes it does, or at the very least should have.

This is the first moment of most days that I remember I’m trans.

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My body and I have been at odds for as long as I can remember.

“At odds”. 

That’s a gentle way of putting it. 

As a kid I had chronic pain. And asthma. And this thing where I would wake up in the middle of the night throwing up only to have nothing wrong with me. In the 6th grade I had my legs put in 45 degree angle casts to “fix” my leg…

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"You've lived a very full life,"  he says to me, while looking down at my chart and simultaneously peering up over his glasses the way doctors do.  

"I'm very interested," he carries on.

I deflect the awkwardness of the fact that until the age of 31 I've lived my life as a woman by making a joke: "What, not all transmen have birthed 4 kids?"  

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