Sandals Royal Bahamian - Here and Queer!

Sandals Royal Bahamian- Here and Queer!


This is our mantra while Katherine and I sneak away childless for 4 nights in the Bahamas.

“But didn’t you just GET back from vacation?!?” I can hear you ask quizzically. 

No miggy figgys!!!

No, I did not just get back from a vacation, I just got back from a trip! With my kids. Where we do all of the same crap like laundry, and cooking, and fighting over screen time, and bedtimes and all of it, but we do it in a new, more challenging place, without any of our creature comforts!  

After our epic week in Portland and 4 days camping and running wild we came home dirty and tired and they came home dirty, and full of life, love, and joy!

My wife and I, we came home needing a vacation from our “family vacation.”

This is vacationing with children, there’s very little to no sex involved and if you ask me this is NO VACATION AT ALL!

Who’s with me?

From this moment forward, always and forever, we shall collectively refer to all “Family Vacations” as “Family Trips”


I digress.

But seriously, how many times do we do this to ourselves? 

We give our best to the world, and tell ourselves there’s nothing left for us. There’s never enough time or money. I tell myself that resources could be better used elsewhere. There are only 24 hours in a day and there is literally a kid asking for new shoes every day of my life.

I tell myself a lot of things about how I don’t deserve this.   But I’m tired and I don’t have the good healthy boundaries that are required to have a staycation and actually enjoy it.

Hell, even at an air bnb or typical hotel I spend most of my life taking care of everyone around me, classic enneagram 2 with achiever leanings (aka I need to be the best helper ever). Here’s the thing though, I sabotage myself because then I get tired, and grouchy, and empty.   And then I yell at my kids and feel like a jerk and have to apologize. 

A 5 star luxury all inclusive island vacation?

When you basically have the beach to yourself.

When you basically have the beach to yourself.

This seems like a much better choice to me.

And the magic is that I literally can’t take care of anyone else. It’s against the rules. I’m very uncomfortable with this. The super kind and amazing people here at The Sandals Royal Behamian are laughing at me, while shaking their heads and telling me how cute I am.

It’s like everyone here is an over achieving helper! 

Today I ordered room service and asked if they happened to have chocolate milk on the resort. They laughed and said no, (it is an adult only resort after all) but then when our order came Shantell called ahead and said “I managed to find a special treat for you; it’s on it’s way up!”

Chocolate milk, the ocean, my wife and nothing that I should be doing other than this. 

I am so grateful.

I literally couldn’t have imagined that this experience of having someone else think of everything is so badly what I needed to fill back up and get ready to take on the intensity that is coming for us this fall.

The fact that Sandals Royal Bahamian has told me I am welcome, they will keep me safe and that I am encouraged to be myself aka my queer, trans, shirtless self here, takes this whole experience to the next level.

The truth is that I shouldn’t have to feel lucky to find a resort that celebrates me for who I am. I shouldn’t feel lucky to find a place where my love and I get to be romantic and dreamy and all of the things while also still being us. But I am and I do. Because that’s the world that we live in, so thanks Sandals, for hosting us, and seeing us, and wanting to know how you can show our community that it’s safe here for them too.